Ocala Divorce Lawyer Blog

Too often when client's are first handling the throws of divorce or separation, the emotions involved run very high. There is an old adage that says criminal lawyers see bad people at their best and divorce lawyers see good people at their worst.

Sometimes, however, emotions become too high and it turns into violence. Attorneys and Judges work very hard to keep this from happening. Yet, just last month, a 28-year-old Florida man was arrested after he viciously beat his wife right in front of a judge. The man and his wife were involved in a divorce court hearing at the time. He now faces criminal charges for felony battery, domestic violence and resisting arrest. For the full story see this link.

The incident took place in the judge's chambers (office). The man reportedly stormed out of the room after the judge ordered him to pay child support for his two young children and gave him court ordered parenting time. The man returned a short time later and began screaming at the judge and his wife. He then reportedly began hitting his 23-year-old wife in the head and face and choking her.

The woman's attorney attempted to stop the violent man by putting him in a bear hug. The man, who is an ex-Marine, would not surrender even after police intervened. He was finally subdued after being shot with a stun gun.

The woman was taken to a hospital where she was treated for a broken nose, broken bones in her face and a torn lip.

Child custody, child support, and divorce are all difficult issues which put a great deal of stress on individuals and families. Nevertheless, no person has the right to let stress turn into violence. And because of his poor choices, this man will now face serious criminal charges, and parenting time with his children could potentially jeopardized as well.

If you are thinking about divorce or facing a family law related matter, please see our website for more information on your legal options or call Ocala Divorce and Family Law attorney at the Law Office of Anne E. Raduns, PA to find out how we can help. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation. Please call to today.

I had seen this list about a year ago at a Family Law meeting. I'd like to post this to my blog to remind divorcing parents that their actions and words have a direct impact on their children during a divorce. If you are going through a divorce or contested family law matter, please keep these in mind when helping your children cope with the issues that arise during the litigation.

DIVORCE RULES
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm just a kid, so please...

1. Do not talk badly about my other parent. (This makes me feel torn apart! It also makes me feel bad about myself.)

2. Do not talk about my other parent's friends or relatives. (Let me care for someone even if you don't.)

3. Do not talk about the divorce or other grown-up stuff. (This makes me feel sick. Please leave me out of it.)

4. Do not talk about child support. (This makes me feel guilty or like I'm a possession instead of your kid.)

5. Do not make me feel bad when I enjoy time with my other parent. (This makes me afraid to tell you things.)

6. Do not block my visits or prevent me from speaking to my other parent on the phone. (This makes me very upset.)

7. Do not interrupt my time with my other parent by calling too much or by planning my activities during our time together.

8. Do not argue in front of me or on the phone when I can hear you. (This turns my stomach inside out!)

9. Do not ask me to spy for you when I'm at my other parent's home. (This makes me feel disloyal and dishonest.)

10.Do not ask me to keep secrets from my other parent. (Secrets make me feel anxious.)

11.Do not ask me questions about my other parent's life. (This makes me uncomfortable. Just let me tell you.)

12.Do not give me verbal messages to deliver to my other parent. (I end up feeling anxious about their reaction. Please call them, leave them a message at work or put a note in the mail.)

13.Do not send written messages with me or place them in my bag. (This also makes me uncomfortable.)

14.Do not blame my other parent for the divorce or for things that go wrong in your life. (This really feels terrible! I end up wanting to defend them from your attack. Sometimes it makes me feel sorry for you and want to protect you. I just want to be a kid, so please, please...stop putting me in the middle!)

15.Do not treat me like an adult. (It causes way too much stress for me.) Please find a friend or therapist to talk with.

16.Do not ignore my other parent or sit on opposite sides of the room during my school or sports activities. (This makes me feel sad and embarrassed. Please act like parents and be friendly, even if it is just for me.)

17.Do let me take items to my other home as long as I can carry them back and forth. (Otherwise it feels like you are treating me like a possession.)

18.Do not use guilt to pressure me to love you more and do not ask me where I want to live.

19.Do realize that I have two homes, not just one. (It doesn't matter how much time I spend there.) I'd also really appreciate it if you would let my other parent come into our house every now and then, because it's my home too!

20.Do let me love both of you and see each of you as much as possible!

If you are thinking about divorce or facing a family law related matter, please see our website for more information on your legal options or call Ocala Divorce and Family Law attorney at the Law Office of Anne E. Raduns, PA to find out how we can help. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation. Call for your consultation today.

Being in the military takes a huge toll on your private life. With multiple deployments, in marriages where sometimes both spouses are in the military, can make it seem almost impossible to maintain what it takes to keep a marriage together. Even if you are in the States and your spouse is deployed, the months and months apart make it difficult keep any kind of martial cohesiveness. Even though military families today are able to use e-mail and video chats to keep in better touch, these tools still can't maintain the feelings of intimacy and togetherness that keep marital bonds strong.

Over half of all military personnel are married, and 70% of military personnel have children. The divorce rate for active-duty military personnel has risen from 2.6% in 2001 to 3.6% in 2009, surpassing the civilian divorce rate of 3.4%. In 2009 there were around fifty thousand military divorces. In response to the strain on families, the Pentagon has increased spending to a record $9 billion on family support programs, including more for child-care services and family counseling.

Military divorce numbers also do not include personnel who get divorced a year or two after leaving the military. Often times when the solider comes home, there is a huge attempt to rekindle the marriage and make the marriage work. Unfortunately, there are other factors involved, such as Post-Combat stress that undermine these attempts of saving the marriage.

There is also another factor not considered: many military marriages that are in trouble are maintained, at least officially, to retain benefits. It is not unusual for troubled couples in the military to remain married in order to continue receiving higher housing payments. A civilian spouse who divorces a service member loses his or her military health coverage.

Nearly 800,000 National Guard members and reservists have been called to active duty, since 9/11, the most since World War II. A half-million have deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan - and 200,000 have served multiple tours. Nearly 100,000 Guard members and reservists are currently serving on active duty. The stresses on the families of these personnel is enormous.

Research has found that military women have the harder time staying married. Divorce rates are two to three times higher for female service members than for men. The highest divorce rate occurs with military women married to civilian men.

"Military families are stressed - really, really, really stressed," said Dr. Benjamin Karney, a professor of social psychology at UCLA who has studied military marriages for the Rand Corp., a California think tank that often does studies for the military. To read more about the Pentagon's steps to reduce the divorce rate in military personnel, please click on the link to read the entire story.

If you are thinking about divorce or facing a family law related matter, please see our website for more information on your legal options or call Ocala Divorce and Family Law attorney at the Law Office of Anne E. Raduns, PA to find out how we can help. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation to analyze your case with you. Call for your consultation today.

Buyer Beware is never more true than when buying a home from a divorcing couple. Marriage break-ups can be tense. And when divorcing couples sell their homes, it's buyer, agent and everyone that should be cautious.

There are about one million divorces a year in the United States and in most cases, there's a home that needs to be sold. That can mean great bargains, because couples divorcing -- like those in foreclosure -- are often among the most motivated of sellers, willing to accept offers below market value.

Still, house hunters may well pay the price in terms of aggravation and time when working with these sellers.

Buyers must wade through the venom generated by the divorce. Often, one spouse is anxious to sell while the other tries to sabotage the deal -- either out of spite or an unwillingness to end the marriage.

"Most of my divorcing clients dislike each other very much so navigating the transaction can be tricky," said Scott Weeda, a Seattle-based real estate agent who specializes in divorce. To read more about the dangers of buying a home from a divorcing couple, please click on this link.

If you are thinking about divorce or facing a family law related matter, please see our website for more information on your legal options or call Ocala Divorce and Family Law attorney at the Law Office of Anne E. Raduns, PA to find out how we can help. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

I have included some helpful tips to assist in making it through the holiday season either during or after divorce. Time-sharing with the children during this period of time often creates the most turmoil during the divorce process. I hope this list helps.

1. No fighting about the holidays in front of the children. This should go without saying, but sometimes a reminder helps. Also, please don't use the children to pass messages back and forth. Usually during the holiday season both parents feel that they are getting the "short end of the stick." Remember. the time sharing arrangement varies from year to year, so if you did not get Christmas eve this year, it should be yours next year. Just remember to keep the kids out of the fighting over holiday time sharing.

2. Try to be flexible with holiday time-sharing. With family and friends coming in for the holidays - there are often requests to switch days or just periods of time. Remembering that this is is a special time for the children to see out-of-town relatives, might make it more palatable to switch days or evenings around.

3. Do something fun for yourself - if you don't have that particular holiday, like Thanksgiving or Christmas with the kids - finds something fun to do. Maybe spend the night close to a big shopping mall and get there really early (think Florida Mall hotel right next to the Florida Mall). Visit a Bed and Breakfast in St. Augustine and just roam around the little shops and boutiques. Schedule a manicure or pedicure - for a spa day. Watch marathon football or chick flicks and stock up on the popcorn. Maybe a hunting trip with a buddy. Visit the Appleton or Harn museum or go to an art show. A trip to the bookstore for coffee and browse through magazines. The choices are endless and there are always many free or next to free things to do in Central Florida during the holiday period.

4. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Those same people who helped see you through the divorce, can also help see you through the holiday season. It is never a good idea to isolate yourself during the holidays. Getting out and socializing with others can even take your mind off your problems as you enjoy the company of those who love you.

5. Create new "traditions" for yourself: if you always did particular things with your former- spouse and children, it would be extremely helpful to create new traditions that you do with yourself or that you do with children. Going to Church or Synagogue, visit friends and family, get the tree out early and start decorating. Being alone does not mean being lonely. Enjoy some of the free time that you didn't have before. Consider doing something completely different from previous years. If you are alone this year think about taking a trip or spending time with friends out of town. If you have your children, consider celebrating the holiday in a different location, in the mountains or at the beach.

6. Give your children the gift of a guilt-free holiday season. This gift is absolutely priceless. Don't make them responsible for your happiness or entertainment. Don't spend so much money that you feel "taken advantage of." Children would rather have a holiday with a fun-filled parent than one with lots of presents and a parent who is angry, overwhelmed and resentful.

7. Celebrate Thanksgiving/Christmas more than once. Just because a holiday falls on a particular day, doesn't mean it can't be celebrated on a different day. If you will not be with your children on a holiday, call or send a gift or card to make contact with them, then celebrate with them on the next day that you are together. Most children love celebrating holidays more than once.

8. Please don't wait until the last minutes to make time-sharing arrangements or changes to the schedule. If you realize that you and your former spouse are very far apart in agreeing on the time-sharing schedule, waiting to the last minute may make it impossible to get into court. Try your best to work it out yourselves. Negotiate and communicate with your former spouse. Try to keep reactivity to a minimum. Remember to put the children first.

9. Don't over indulge in alcohol or other drugs. Holiday time can sometimes be painful, but anesthetizing emotional pain with chemicals only creates more depression and leads to a greater sense of hopelessness and isolation.

10. Focus on the positive. Say hopeful and optimistic things to yourself and aloud. Remember that Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and Christmas are about being thankful and miracles. Fill yourself with thankfulness and appreciate the miracle that after so much pain that we can heal emotionally when given the opportunity. Move past anger, bitterness and resentfulness. If we focus on the positive and the best possibilities, these are usually what we get. If we focus on the negative and brace ourselves for the worst possible outcome, this is also what we usually get.

If you are thinking about divorce or facing a family law related matter, please see our website for more information on your legal options or call Ocala Divorce and Family Law attorney at the Law Office of Anne E. Raduns, PA to find out how we can help. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

The American Psychiatric Association has a hot potato on its hands as reported by the San Francisco Chronicle as the American Psychiatric Association updates its catalog of mental disorders -- whether to include parental alienation, a disputed term conveying how a child's relationship with one estranged parent can be poisoned by the other.

There's broad agreement that this sometimes occurs, usually triggered by a divorce and child-custody dispute. But there's bitter debate over whether the phenomenon should be formally classified as a mental health syndrome -- a question now before the psychiatric association as it prepares the first complete revision since 1994 of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

The psychiatric association first published its manual of diagnostic disorders, known as the DSM, in 1952. The last major revision was published in 1994 and updated in 2000, and the fifth edition -- DSM-5 -- is due for publication in May 2013.

Work groups in various fields have been reviewing numerous proposals for additions to the 283 disorders in the current edition. Parental alienation remains on a list of proposals that are subject to further review, though it did not pass muster with the work group dealing with childhood and adolescent disorders.

Dr. William Bernet, a psychiatry professor at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, said it was "flatly ridiculous" for the APA to contend there is not enough information available to warrant including parental alienation in the DSM. He cited legal developments and new research in numerous foreign countries. His proposal defines parental alienation disorder as "a mental condition in which a child, usually one whose parents are engaged in a high conflict divorce, allies himself or herself strongly with one parent, and rejects a relationship with the other parent, without legitimate justification."

If you need assistance with your divorce or family law matter, please call Ocala Divorce and Family Law attorney at the Law Office of Anne E. Raduns, PA to find out how we can help. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

No two families are alike. They come in different sizes, shapes, colors and genders. More and more people are accepting that families don't mean a "Father, Mother and 2.2 children" anymore. We as a culture have expanded our definition of what makes a "family." We see Grandparents raising their children's children. We see many one-parent families. And we are seeing a rise in same-sex couple families.

An article published in the NY Times references a survey conducted that shows that a majority of Americans now say their definition of family includes same-sex couples with children, as well as married gay and lesbian couples.

Prof. Stephanie Coontz of Evergreen State College in Washington, director of research and public education at the Council on Contemporary Families, a research and advocacy group, said that "Americans seem to be open to seeing same-sex couples with children as families, even while they hesitate to recognize their unions as marriage."

David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values, a marriage research and advocacy group, said he was not surprised by the findings. "I like the standard definition of family: two or more persons related by blood, marriage or adoption," Mr. Blankenhorn said. "Keeps it simple and coherent."

If you have a family law matter, regardless of how your family is made-up, we can help. We have handled many Grandparent rights/custody issues, Divorce issues, Father's rights issues, and GLBT issues. We can help if you are facing a family law issue.

Please call Ocala Divorce Lawyer to find out how we can help. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

I frequently have clients who come in and tell me they need an Emergency Motion filed for __________(fill in the blank). The emergency could be that their Husband/Wife is taking the furniture, going to turn off the electricity, or cancel the Husband's/Wife's car insurance. All very important issues, but does it rise to the level of filing an Emergency Ex-Parte Injunction? When is an emergency really and emergency in the eyes of the court?

In the recently released case of Hunter v. Hunter, 2D09-4878, 2010 WL 2077158 (Fla. Dist. Ct. App), the District Court, says that a trial court should only order relief in an Ex-parte proceeding where there exists an immediate threat of irreparable injury that forecloses the opportunity to give reasonable notice. See City of Boca Raton v. Boca Raton Airport Auth., 768 So. 2d 1191, 1192 (Fla. 4th DCA 2000). Thus a motion seeking ex-parte relief "must demonstrate (1) how and why the giving of notice would accelerate or precipitate the injury or (2) that the time required to notice a hearing would actually permit the threatened irreparable injury to occur." Id. at 1193 (quoting Smith v. Knight, 679 So. 2d 359, 361 (Fla. 4th DCA 1996)). In the case that was before the DCA, it found that the Wife's motion failed to demonstrate either an immediate threat of irreparable injury or a reason notice could not be given.

The DCA further opined that to the extent that the order grants injunctive relief in the Hunter case, they observed that almost none of the required procedures were followed. According to Florida Family Law Rule of Procedure 12.610(a), injunctive relief in family law cases not related to the need for protection against domestic violence, repeat violence, dating violence, or sexual violence is governed by Florida Rule of Civil Procedure 1.610. Rule 1.610(a)(1), which permits the entry of a temporary injunction without written or oral notice to the adverse party only if:

(A) it appears from the specific facts shown by affidavit or verified pleading that immediate and irreparable injury, loss, or damage will result to the movant before the adverse party can be heard in opposition; and

(B) the movant's attorney certifies in writing any efforts that have been made to give notice and the reasons why notice should not be required.

In the Hunter case, the Wife's motion was neither verified nor supported by affidavits. Thus the motion was deficient under rule 1.610(a)(1)(A). Also, the motion did not contain the attorney's certification required under rule 1.601(a)(1)(B). Furthermore, the order itself is defective because it contains no explanation of the reasons for its entry other than "[t]he Emergency Motion is well taken." Thus the order violates rule 1.610(c), which requires that an injunction specify the reasons for entry. See also Hathcock v. Hathcock, 533 So. 2d 802, 804 (Fla. 1st DCA 1988) (holding that an order enjoining the husband from disposing of marital property and awarding the wife temporary exclusive use and possession of the marital home failed to comply with rule 1.610 because it contained no findings concerning why the injury would be irreparable or why the order was granted without notice). Finally, it does not appear that the trial court required the Wife to post a bond as required by rule 1.610(b).

The Court held that the Wife's argument about the Notice Requirement of Rule 1.610(a) concerning the entry of temporary injunctions without notice was woefully insufficient. To send a copy of a motion to opposing counsel without a notice of hearing and to present the motion to the court for the entry of an order granting the motion an hour or so later is unquestionably inadequate notice -- if it may even be deemed notice at all. See City of Ormond Beach v. City of Daytona Beach, 794 So. 2d 660, 663 (Fla. 5th DCA 2001) ("[N]otice encompasses a reasonable opportunity to prepare and offer evidence."); Fla. High Sch. Activities Ass'n v. Benitez, 748 So. 2d 358, 359 (Fla. 5th DCA 1999) ("Notice for temporary injunction purposes means a meaningful opportunity to prepare in order to present evidence and secure a record of the proceedings.").

If you are thinking about divorce, please call us to talk your case. Visit our website or call the office to schedule your low-cost consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

In highly contested divorces or modifications, I often recommend retaining a Guardian Ad Litem on the case. Most people do not understand that the children are not going to be allowed to "go in and talk to the Judge," and often times the only way to get the children's voices heard is by and through a Guardian Ad Litem.

Why a Guardian Ad Litem?
A Guardian Ad Litem ("GAL") is usually an attorney hired by the divorcing couple (or the parent seeking the modification) to represent the child(ren) in a legal dispute concerning their custody or welfare. Having a Guardian Ad Litem reduces the "he said/she said" that the court has to hear. The GAL report is usually invaluable to the court left to make a permanent custody decision and usually gives it much weight in making its decision with regards to the children. The GAL is a neutral third-party that will make a report to the court based on it's findings from interviews. When the Court enters an Order appointing a Guardian Ad Litem, that guardian is not biased towards either the mother or the father and does not owe any allegiance to either party. They can be objective in the investigation and recommendation as to what disposition would be in the best interests of the child(ren).

What Does a Guardian Ad Litem Do?
A guardian is authorized by the Court and by agreement of the parties to investigate the entire background, living conditions, family relationships, and any other matter related thereto in order to make a recommendation to the court as to what would be in the best interests of the child as to placement, visitation, and other matters ruled upon by the court. They can make home visits, speak with anyone in person, by phone, or any other method of communication. They go to the schools or daycares and speak with the teachers. They can speak with the friends of the parents. They may speak with anyone who has important knowledge about the parents or the children. The guardian usually makes a report to the court recommending a specific outcome. The parties do not have to accept the report, but can present their own witnesses and evidence in court. The Judge makes the final determination on the disposition of the child(ren). However, the report of the guardian, if presented properly to the parties prior to trial, can sometimes lead to settlement of the issues without the expense of a trial.

Talk to a Florida Divorce Attorney
To talk to us about your case, either an initial custody determination or modification, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

Poll: A third say pets listen better than husbands

By SUE MANNING (AP) - 18 hours ago

LOS ANGELES -- Husbands, if you end up in the doghouse, consider it a promotion.

A third of pet-owning married women said their pets are better listeners than their husbands, according to an Associated Press-Petside.com poll released Wednesday. Eighteen percent of pet-owning married men said their pets are better listeners than their wives.

Christina Holmdahl, 40, talks all the time to her cat, two dogs or three horses -- about her husband, naturally.

"Whoever happens to be with me when I'm rambling," said Holmdahl, who's stationed with her husband at Fort Stewart in Georgia. "A lot of times, I'm just venting about work or complaining about the husband."

She thinks everyone should have a pet to talk to like her horse, Whistle, who's been with her since she was 19.

"We all say things we don't mean when we are upset about stuff," she said. "When we have time to talk it out and rationalize it, we can think about it better and we can calm down and see both sides better."

It would be a toss-up whether Bill Rothschild would take a problem to his wife of 19 years or the animal he considers a pet -- a palm-sized crayfish named Cray Aiken. His daughter brought it home four years ago at the end of a second grade science project.

Rothschild, 44, of Granite Springs, N.Y., considers Cray a better listener than his wife, "absolutely. She doesn't listen worth anything." He doesn't get much feedback from the crustacean, but it's been a different story over the years with family dogs and cats.

"You definitely feel much more comfortable sharing your problems with them," he said. "A little lick from a big dog can go a long way."

Overall, about one in 10 pet owners said they would talk their troubles over with their pets.

The AP-Petside.com poll also found that most people believe their pets are stable and seldom struggle with depression. Just 5 percent of all pet owners said they had taken an animal to a veterinarian or pet psychologist because it seemed down in the dumps. Even fewer said they'd ever given antidepressants to a pet.

But they weren't opposed to the idea: 18 percent of those polled said they were at least somewhat likely to take a pet to a vet or pet psychologist if it was dejected.

When pets become the therapists, the dogs have it. Twenty-five percent of dog owners said their canines listened better than a spouse, while only 14 percent of cat owners chose the feline.

Ron Farber, 55, of Hoxie, Kan., said it's easier to talk to his dog Buddy than his wife because "the dog doesn't have an opinion."

"I think better out loud. He doesn't care what you say or do. He looks at you, pays attention, you walk through the problem in your mind and eventually, the answer comes. It's not as easy when other people are offering opinions," he said.

Farber would take Buddy to a vet if he needed help, but "I doubt there's a dog psychologist within 300 miles."

A pet psychologist is also called a veterinary behaviorist. Veterinarian Karen Sueda, whose office is at the VCA West Los Angeles Animal Hospital is one of 50 certified by the American Veterinary Medical Association.

Most of her canine patients have problems with aggression and anxiety, while her cats' biggest problem is failure to use a litter box, she said.

Karen Manderbachs, 38, has tried drugs for her dog Kensey, a Shiba Inu who is afraid of thunder. "She sits and full body-shakes. She tries to climb the walls, will hide behind the couch. She gets frantic."

But the first time, the pill didn't take effect in time. The next, "she was so out of it, I couldn't do it again."

Without thunder, Kensey is fine and listens with the other pets -- three dogs and a cat -- as Manderbachs talks.

The dogs seldom react, "but if I'm upset, if I cry, they will hover around and try, in their own way, to make it better," said the 38-year-old from Rocky Mount, N.C.

Sueda, the veterinary behaviorist, said she thinks everyone talks to their animals.

"Pets are great because they provide us with unconditional support. They never talk back, never give us the wrong opinion and they are always there for us," she said. "As much as we love our spouses or significant others, sometimes they are not there, sometimes they have their own thoughts about how we should deal with situations. And sometimes, especially when it's a husband or male significant other, they want to solve the problem rather than just listening to the problem."

The AP-Petside.com Poll was conducted April 7-12, 2010, and involved landline and cell phone interviews with 1,112 pet owners nationwide. It has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3.3 percentage points.

If only life was really like The Brady Bunch. An easily blended family, no exes to complicate matters, minor disturbances that are resolved with a great little moral lesson. In actuality, real life mirrors what was going on behind the scenes of The Brady Bunch show - complicated, passionate, and sometimes stormy. So introducing a new romantic partner after divorce or death is a situation that may not go as smoothly as when Carol and Bob met. It is a decision that warrants a lot of thought.

When you meet someone new, your initial instinct will be to want them to meet your children. Your kids are central, important and and in many ways the main loves of your lives! It may feel odd to keep a relationship separate from them. It may feel sneaky. You may be inclined to resolve this by having your new lover hang out and share in activities with your children as a new "friend". Right? Wrong!!! These reactions are completely understandable but remember, not all are instincts are best followed. Children are no dummies - even children under three will register the different energy present with a platonic vs. non-platonic friend. Furthermore, if there was an extramarital affair involved with this partner your children will be aware consciously or unconsciously regardless of being told explicitly. So don't kid yourself.

A good rule of thumb is wait to introduce your children to your romantic interest until the relationship reaches six months of seriously seeing one another. This guideline protects kids from experiencing the inevitable romantic ups and downs of a new relationships and of having another potential loss. Shielding your children from the early stages of your relationship will require sacrifice on your part; keeping your private life private takes energy, planning and giving up time with your new lover. It is not lying, it is not sneaky, it is privacy - necessary privacy.

Children have very mixed feelings about new relationships. They may feel disloyal to the other parent if they have fun with this new person. They become jealous of sharing your time. They may feel uncomfortable because the sexual energy present with a new relationship is different than that of their married parents. It is not as if kids cannot develop meaningful relationships with girlfriends or boyfriends after divorce -- of course they can -- but the more thoughtful consideration on your part the better the chances for your children to adapt to the new situation.

It is in your child's best interest to wait and see if this looks like a relationship that will have sticking power to withstand the pressures of step parenting and blending families. Once the six month mark has come and gone, you are ready to begin integrating this person in to your family. Inform your ex of all developments. If he/she introduces your children to a new relationship as well, try to be as generous as you can -- keep all complicated feelings to yourself. Your reaction will play a huge role in your kids openness to accept this new person and to experience less conflict over loyalty.

The first kid-new-partner meeting should be activity based. Do something together, a movie, bowling, ice skating -- something that comes with distinct time limits and allows your child to ease in to the meeting with focus on the activity rather than "getting to know" your new lover. Gauge your child's readiness as you decide the frequency of these get-togethers -- keeping in mind that slow is always better in these matters. In terms of sleep overs and joint vacations, especially if other children are involved, take it very slowly. No one has ever complained that they wish they had moved faster on integrating families -- on the contrary, most difficulties come from rushing in with idyllic expectations. Consider yourself very lucky if all goes smoothly as life is not The Brady Bunch.

To talk to us about your case, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

This has been cross-posted by permission of the author. Full credit goes to Lisa Spiegel and her insightful and inspiring SoHo Parenting - a Center for parenting and the emotional health of the whole family. To see the original blog post, please visit http://www.sohoparenting.com/blog/2009/11/divorce/

I frequently hear prospective or current clients telling me about how their soon-to-be-ex or former spouse is engaging in disparaging comments about them. I reassure them that taking the "high road," rather than acting "in kind," is the healthiest for the children. Normally, after the emotions of divorce begin to fade, so do the hurtful comments from one parent about the other. However, the parent engaging in the negative behavior may be purposefully encouraging a child to disengage with the other parent and/or denigrate the other parent. Typical methods include: badmouthing the parent, denying visitation rights through geographical relocation or other means, using the psychological threat of detachment, and withdrawing affection and other tactics. There reaches a point when the mere "bad mouthing" turns more serious and becomes Parental Alienation.

Parental Alienation is extremely complex and difficult to assess -- especially initially. Two very good resources may be The Florida Bar article by Michael Bone and Michael Walsh that come out in 1999. The other is Michael Bone's website that deals exclusively with Parental Alienation and the Florida Court system. I have worked with Dr. Bone on some rather difficult PAS cases and he is an absolute expert in his field! It should be specifically noted that in 2000, in Tampa, J. Michael Bone, Ph.D. was directly involved in a "Frye Hearing" as was Richard Gardner, M.D. along with Richard Warshack, Ph.D. The court ruled that PAS was accepted in the professional scientific community and did meet the Frye standard.

In a parental alienation situation when one parent uses tactics of hostility with a child, the dynamics of time-sharing changes dramatically. A child may act-out to prevent time-sharing with the "targeted" parent. A new time-sharing arrangement evaluation may be in the best future interests of the child. This may mean giving the targeted parent the most overnights, to offset the effects of PAS. Enlisting the advice of an expert, someone like Dr. Bone, well versed in this type of damaging behavior, can help a parent with an alienated child evaluate their options and pursue some therapeutic remedies. Equally as important is having legal counsel who has worked in this field and can help discuss various legal remedies.

It is vitally important that these matters are handled with extreme sensitivity, care and professionalism to ensure the best interests of the child. The welfare of children is of utmost importance to the law office of Anne E. Raduns, PA. Frequently, the children are forgotten as parents fight for child custody rights and wage child custody battles. The law office of Anne E. Raduns PA is a staunch advocate of protecting the best interests of children to develop stable, consistent relationships with the adults in their lives whenever possible.

Responsible parents have the right to have a positive, loving relationship with their children. And, children deserve to grow up in a psychologically healthy relationship with their parents. Too often Florida child support and time-sharing rights become the issues former spouses use to vent their anger and hostility. As research suggests, emotional dysfunction for the child can follow him or her far into their future relationships with others. The healthiest children grow up with two loving parents fully present in their lives, even if the parents are divorced. Divorce should not make either person any less of a parent!

If parental alienation has affected you, please call us to discuss your case or visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

As a divorce attorney I see this scenerio play out repeatedly in the context of what religion are the children going to be raised:

A custody battle between parents has erupted in a firestorm over religion and the boundaries of faith and the law. The couple live in the Chicago area and was reported by CBS and the Sun-Times.

It's the story of Joseph Reyes and Rebecca Shapiro; he's Catholic, she's Jewish. They married in 2004. Because Rebecca came from a deeply religious family, Joseph agreed to convert to Judaism but, according to him, he continued to practice Catholicism.

Both said they were open-minded about religion, but the story begins to diverge there. According to Joseph, because Rebecca came from a deeply religious family, her parents wouldn't accept their daughter marrying a gentile. Rebecca denies that, and said that she was OK with his religion as long as he agreed to build a Jewish home.

Their wedding was a traditional Jewish affair. They signed a ketubah, a Hebrew marriage contract, and held the wedding ceremony under a huppa, a ceremonial canopy that symbolizes the creation of a Jewish household.

They broke a glass, danced the hora --these are customary in Jewish weddings, and began their lives together. But the marriage began to go south --the reasons why are not the issue, but the long and the short of it was as Rebecca said, "we just didn't see the world the same. We had different expectations for what two people in love should act like."

But by this time, they'd had a daughter, Ela, born in November 2006. On this front, both parents agree that she is a perfect little angel. But she also became the center of a bitter custody battle over what religion to raise her in. By Rebecca's account, the couple agreed to raise her Jewish, which meant frequent trips to the synagogue, sending Ela to a Jewish preschool, and celebrating Jewish holidays.

Continue reading "What Religion Are We Going to Raise Our Child: A Legal and Religious Dilemma" »

If you are interested in pursuing an Uncontested Divorce, please call the Law Office of Anne E. Raduns, PA to find out how we can help. Even with an Uncontested Divorce, there are risks involved if you decide to do it yourself. We can help you with the process quickly and inexpensively.

We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

As a Divorce Lawyer, I am frequently faced with issues similar to this opinion. Clients want the upper-hand in their litigation, and sometimes take actions they would not normally take under normal circumstances. There was a Paternity case that came out this past week that stands for the proposition that if the information was stolen, illegally obtained, or obtained under very, very suspicious circumstances not only is it not going to be considered by the trial court but also there is a strong possibility that the Attorney/Firm that used the information will likely be removed from the case. This case also applies to any Family Law case, including issues of Divorce, Child Support, Parenting Plans, or any other litigation involving the family. I often get inquiries from prospective or current clients involved in highly contested Divorce cases or Paternity cases wondering if they can snoop around the other side's computer and use what they found. I know the temptation for my client is there, but it's just not with the aggravation or the penalties that could happen.

In the case of CASTELLANO v. WINTHROP, Fla. 5th DCA District. Case No. 5D09-2798 the Mother sought to have the Appeal's Court review of an order of the trial court disqualifying her counsel/Firm. The disqualification was based on the Firm's receipt, review, and use of respondent, the Father's USB flash drive that contained electronic files including, among other things attorney/client communications, client litigation notes, and attorney work product. The Mother contended that the disqualification order represented a departure from the essential requirements of the law because a less drastic civil remedy was sufficient to address any potential wrongdoing.

The Judge and Appeals court found that the disqualification of the Firm was required because "an informational advantage was obtained." The Mother and the Firm were ordered to return the USB drive and any and all copies that were in their possession or control. The Mother and the Firm were also ordered to remove from their computers all of the Father's confidential and privileged information and to make their computers available for third-party inspection to confirm the deletion of this information -- all at the Firm's expense.

For the benefit of other attorneys facing a similar dilemma, the case notes that the Florida Bar Commission on Professional Ethics has opined that when an attorney receives confidential documents he or she knows or reasonably should know were wrongfully obtained by his client, he or she is ethically obligated to advise the client that the materials cannot be retained, reviewed, or used without first informing the opposing party that the attorney and/or client have the documents at issue. If the client refuses to consent to disclosure, the attorney must withdraw from further representation. Fla. Bar Prof'l Ethics Comm., Formal Op. 07-1.

If you are involved in a Divorce or Paternity case, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation. Call for your consultation today.