Ocala Divorce Lawyer Blog

I frequently have conversations with prospective clients that go something like this:
Me: what kind of parenting time do you have?
Prospective client: we have shared custody?
Me: you have equal time-sharing?
Prospective client: yes, I have every other weekend.
Me: do you mean you have "shared parental responsibility"?
Prospective client: I'm not sure what I have, except I have every other weekend.

Most people get confused with the terms that our Florida Statutes, Lawyers and Courts use in describing parenting-time and parental responsibility. Here is a quick overview of what they are and what they mean.

For many years, the courts in Florida have embraced the idea that a child of divorced parents should have both parents confer with each and make joint decisions about things like after-school activities, medical care, religious upbringing and a whole host of things that relate to the care and well-being and raising of a child. The court did not find it desirable to have the "custodial" parent making all those important child-rearing decisions without input from the other parent.

So, under Chapter 61, Florida Statutes, the court will typically require that the divorcing/divorced parents have "shared parental responsibility." Sometimes this is also casually referred to as, "joint parental responsibility," This is where the confusion starts. "Joint Parental Responsibility" is not the same as "Joint Custody" or "Shared Custody." Joint custody is where each parent has "custody" of the child for roughly equal lengths of time. There is definitely a trend towards parents having "equal time sharing," but the day is still not here when the court finds 50/50 custody is the starting place for creating a parenting plan. In my practice, I see the trend more and more but only about 60% of the families I work with end up with a workable equal-parenting time arrangement.

So, "shared parental responsibility" or "joint parental responsibility" may sound like "Joint Custody" or "Shared Custody," but they are just not same things. With "shared parental responsibility," both parents keep all their decision-making rights and responsibilities. This also means that the parents must consult and confer with each other on matters concerning the welfare and best interests of the child, especially on major decision. When it comes to medical care or education, these decisions should be made jointly, if possible, after the parents have talked to each other.

Nevertheless, in a typical dissolution of marriage case, there is usually one parent that will have more overnights with the child than the other parent. This was previously referred to as the "primary custodial parent." But when the statutes changed, the legislature removed any term relating to "custody." Now we have 2 parents, children, and parenting-time. There is no custody or primary residence anymore. Yet none of these nomenclature changes in our Statutes take away from the fact that both parents share in the parental rights and responsibilities for the child.

If you have questions about parenting plans or time-sharing schedules, or just need more information about divorce or paternity cases, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

Poll: A third say pets listen better than husbands

By SUE MANNING (AP) - 18 hours ago

LOS ANGELES -- Husbands, if you end up in the doghouse, consider it a promotion.

A third of pet-owning married women said their pets are better listeners than their husbands, according to an Associated Press-Petside.com poll released Wednesday. Eighteen percent of pet-owning married men said their pets are better listeners than their wives.

Christina Holmdahl, 40, talks all the time to her cat, two dogs or three horses -- about her husband, naturally.

"Whoever happens to be with me when I'm rambling," said Holmdahl, who's stationed with her husband at Fort Stewart in Georgia. "A lot of times, I'm just venting about work or complaining about the husband."

She thinks everyone should have a pet to talk to like her horse, Whistle, who's been with her since she was 19.

"We all say things we don't mean when we are upset about stuff," she said. "When we have time to talk it out and rationalize it, we can think about it better and we can calm down and see both sides better."

It would be a toss-up whether Bill Rothschild would take a problem to his wife of 19 years or the animal he considers a pet -- a palm-sized crayfish named Cray Aiken. His daughter brought it home four years ago at the end of a second grade science project.

Rothschild, 44, of Granite Springs, N.Y., considers Cray a better listener than his wife, "absolutely. She doesn't listen worth anything." He doesn't get much feedback from the crustacean, but it's been a different story over the years with family dogs and cats.

"You definitely feel much more comfortable sharing your problems with them," he said. "A little lick from a big dog can go a long way."

Overall, about one in 10 pet owners said they would talk their troubles over with their pets.

The AP-Petside.com poll also found that most people believe their pets are stable and seldom struggle with depression. Just 5 percent of all pet owners said they had taken an animal to a veterinarian or pet psychologist because it seemed down in the dumps. Even fewer said they'd ever given antidepressants to a pet.

But they weren't opposed to the idea: 18 percent of those polled said they were at least somewhat likely to take a pet to a vet or pet psychologist if it was dejected.

When pets become the therapists, the dogs have it. Twenty-five percent of dog owners said their canines listened better than a spouse, while only 14 percent of cat owners chose the feline.

Ron Farber, 55, of Hoxie, Kan., said it's easier to talk to his dog Buddy than his wife because "the dog doesn't have an opinion."

"I think better out loud. He doesn't care what you say or do. He looks at you, pays attention, you walk through the problem in your mind and eventually, the answer comes. It's not as easy when other people are offering opinions," he said.

Farber would take Buddy to a vet if he needed help, but "I doubt there's a dog psychologist within 300 miles."

A pet psychologist is also called a veterinary behaviorist. Veterinarian Karen Sueda, whose office is at the VCA West Los Angeles Animal Hospital is one of 50 certified by the American Veterinary Medical Association.

Most of her canine patients have problems with aggression and anxiety, while her cats' biggest problem is failure to use a litter box, she said.

Karen Manderbachs, 38, has tried drugs for her dog Kensey, a Shiba Inu who is afraid of thunder. "She sits and full body-shakes. She tries to climb the walls, will hide behind the couch. She gets frantic."

But the first time, the pill didn't take effect in time. The next, "she was so out of it, I couldn't do it again."

Without thunder, Kensey is fine and listens with the other pets -- three dogs and a cat -- as Manderbachs talks.

The dogs seldom react, "but if I'm upset, if I cry, they will hover around and try, in their own way, to make it better," said the 38-year-old from Rocky Mount, N.C.

Sueda, the veterinary behaviorist, said she thinks everyone talks to their animals.

"Pets are great because they provide us with unconditional support. They never talk back, never give us the wrong opinion and they are always there for us," she said. "As much as we love our spouses or significant others, sometimes they are not there, sometimes they have their own thoughts about how we should deal with situations. And sometimes, especially when it's a husband or male significant other, they want to solve the problem rather than just listening to the problem."

The AP-Petside.com Poll was conducted April 7-12, 2010, and involved landline and cell phone interviews with 1,112 pet owners nationwide. It has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3.3 percentage points.

The parties in this case have been living together since 1994. They were married in 2004. Immediately before they started living together in 1993, the Husband (then boyfriend) bought a home. The Wife (then girlfriend) moved into the home in 1994. They have lived in the house ever since. They were married 10 years after they started living together in 2004. They had joint checking accounts since 1994, and the Wife has contributed to the upkeep and maintenance of the martial home. But her name was NEVER added to the deed to the house. So for all practical purposes when it comes to divorce, the Wife has no ownership interest in the home. She may have an "equity interest" but she does not legally own the marital home.

So in a divorce, how would that effect the Wife? Well, if the Husband goes to court asking that the Wife be made to move out, the court has no other option then to ask the Wife to leave the home. The case on point with this position is the Herrera case which held that "because the husband acquired title to the home prior to the marriage and kept it titled in his name, the non-marital property was not subject to equitable distribution, and, as such, wife should not have been granted exclusive use and possession of husband's premarital home. Herrera v. Herrera, 895 So. 2d 1171 (Fla. Dist. Ct. App. 2005). The Court further opined, "the trial court granted the former wife exclusive use and possession of the former husband's home under the section of the order dealing with equitable distribution. However, Section 61.075(5)(b), Florida Statutes (2002), defines "Nonmarital assets," in part, as "[a]ssets acquired ... prior to the marriage...." A non-marital asset may not be conveyed to a non-owner spouse as equitable distribution absent an agreement. Mitchell v. Mitchell, 841 So.2d 564 (Fla. 2d DCA), review denied, 846 So.2d 1148 (Fla.2003); Belmont v. Belmont, 761 So.2d 406 (Fla. 2d DCA 2000). Thus, because the former husband acquired title to the home prior to the marriage and kept it titled in his name, the non-marital property was not subject to equitable distribution." Id at 1174.

The best idea is that after you and your spouse are married, and you've agreed to pool resources, please have the house put in both names. Alternatively, if your spouse refused to put your name on the "pre-marital" home, it might be a wise idea to limit the pooling of resources. Don't be surprise if during a divorce, you feel "duped." Putting all those years into a relationship, combining resources and financial contributions, only to find out from the court that you have to leave the home you've lived in for 16 years because your name is not on the title. Buyer Beware.

To talk to us about your case, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

Most clients I have are initially very fearful of the prospect of having their deposition taken. Take a deep breath and let's talk about what a deposition is, what it's not, tips and suggestions for having your deposition taken and finally what not to do at a deposition.

WHAT IS A DEPOSITION?

A deposition is your "side of the story," under oath. Opposing counsel knows his/hers client's side of the story. This is the other side's opportunity to find out your side of the store. You will be asked questions by the opposing attorney, and the questions and your answers will be recorded by an official court reporter. There is little difference between testimony at a deposition and testimony in the courtroom, except there is no judge presiding. You will hear your attorney making objections, but unless your attorney instructs you not to answer the question, you will still have to answer. You will be present, your attorney will be with you, the other side's attorney will be there, the other party might or might not be there.

WHY ARE THEY TAKING YOUR DEPOSITION?

Opposing counsel is taking your deposition for three possible reasons:

1. They are interested in what your story is now and what it is going to be at the trial. They want to know what you know and how you know it.
2. They want to know in advance of the trial what your side of the story is going to be. They want you to testify to a specific story so that you will have to tell the same story at the trial.
3. Your testimony given in a deposition may be read at trial. The other side may be hoping to catch you in a lie or omission because if they were to do so, they can claim at the trial that you are not a truthful person and, therefore, your testimony should not be believed on any of the points, particularly the crucial ones.

All of the above are very legitimate purposes and opposing counsel has every right to take your deposition for these purposes and in this fashion. Your attorney has the right to ask questions of you during the deposition, but usually, your attorney will only ask you questions to clarify an answer which may be confusing. Likewise, your attorney has the same right to take the deposition of the other side.

SUGGESTIONS FOR PREPARATION

The following are suggestions to help you prepare to give you deposition. Please study these suggestions carefully:

1. ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH when giving your deposition. Failure to tell the truth in a deposition constitutes perjury. Also, it's hard to keep up with the mis-truths and lies. Telling the truth is always easier.
2. DON'T GUESS at any answer If you do not know the answer to a question, even though you feel you would appear ignorant or evasive saying that you do not know, you should nevertheless do so, because a guess or estimate is always wrong.
3. LISTEN TO THE QUESTION. Do not answer any question unless you hear it completely. If you did not hear the question asked, ask the other attorney to repeat it or ask the court reporter to read it back
4. UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION BEFORE ANSWERING. Do not hesitate to ask the other attorney to repeat or rephrase the question until you do understand it. Sometimes attorneys ask compound questions that cannot be answered with a single answer. Advise the other attorney that it's a complex question and you need some time to explain your answer.
5. PAUSE AFTER EACH QUESTION. This gives you an opportunity to think and make an appropriate response. It also permits your attorney to formulate an objection to the question if one is appropriate.
6. ASK TO SPEAK WITH YOUR LAWYER. At any time during the deposition you will have the right to confer with your attorney privately regarding the question and any proposed answer. Do not hesitate to exercise this right.
7. DO NOT VOLUNTEER INFORMATION. Answer the question that is asked of you and then stop.
8. NO EXPLANATIONS. Never attempt to explain or justify your answer. You are there to give the facts as you know them and you are not supposed to apologize or attempt to justify those facts. Any attempt at such would make it appear that you doubt the accuracy or authenticity of your own testimony.

Continue reading "Florida Divorce Lawyer Talks about Depositions" »

As a prospective client, you know that fastest, least costly and least emotionally draining way to resolve a divorce or family law matter is by entering into a Settlement Agreement. I'm sure you've heard of people who were divorce in 3 weeks because they agreed on everything involved in their divorce. The process was quick and relatively painless. So you are coming to see a lawyer to draw up a Settlement Agreement for your divorce, but you have forgotten one very important thing ... do you and your spouse agree to everything in your divorce. Have you sat down together and talked and decided how the assets and debts are going to be divided? Have you decided on a particular Parenting Plan if the two of you have children? Have the two of you discussed child support - who is paying how much and to whom? And do you agree on all these issues? If you haven't discussed these things - now is the time.

For your understanding, a Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) contains all the terms of your settlement and essentially your Divorce. Every issue in your divorce, such as parenting-time, support and property, should be addressed. This written and signed contractual agreement is attached later to the Final Judgment and submitted to the court for its signature.

As your attorney, I will prepare, review and revise the Marital Settlement Agreement. I will make sure you understand and confirm that all the terms included in the MSA, and you are satisfied with the language used. And I will encourage you to ask more questions until you are comfortable that the terms as is written in the MSA are the ones you agreed to with your spouse.

Some terms are carried out immediately, such as "The 2006 Ford F-150 goes to the Husband." Others are ongoing but limited, such as "Wife shall assume all responsibility for the parties' debt to Sears." Still others may be ongoing, unlimited and subject to modification, such as "Husband shall pay to Wife on the first day of each and every month hereafter the sum of eight hundred dollars ($800) as spousal support until the death of either, remarriage by Wife or further order of Court."

The provisions will be grouped into paragraph-sections for easy reference. Terms such as child and spousal support are court orders and enforceable by contempt if not complied with. Others may not be directly enforceable, and will require legal action. Ask your attorney if you have any questions about enforcement. Every provision of your MSA is intended to be binding and enforceable, one way or another.

I want my clients to carefully review their MSA. Parenting Plans and Time-Sharing plans can be confusing; clean yours up now to prevent a dispute down the road. Make certain the document contains every term of the agreement that you intended to make with your spouse. Raise every concern you have about the meaning of terms. When you sign your MSA, that's it. You are represented by an attorney and you are a competent adult - when it's signed it's a "done deal." Your MSA will next go to the court to have Final Judgment entered.

If you are interested in having a Settlement Agreement resolve your Divorce or other Family law matter, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.

A retainer fee is a form of pre-payment, like a "savings account" with your lawyer, against which the lawyer will bill when handling your case. This advanced fee ensures that the attorney will provide the specified legal services on behalf of the client. Think of it as a down payment on the services the attorney provides. The funds, which are usually non-refundable in most family law cases, and are then place in the attorney's or law firm's business account where they have access to it to pay any upcoming services that are rendered on behalf of the client. If the fees go above the retainer amount, the client must pay that amount. The retainer fee is just an initial estimate and is often based on the complexity of the case. If there are more complex issues involved, then naturally the higher the retainer amount. Additional fees beyond the retainer are often required when a matter must go to court.

Before accepting to pay a retainer fee, get the fee, terms and conditions in writing. The most widely used forms of advance payment are "the general (or traditional) retainer", "the special (or specific) retainer," the "flat fee retainer," or "the nonrefundable retainer." Before you hire a lawyer for your divorce or family law matter, make sure you have read, reviewed and understood the Retainer Agreement the attorney has given you. You are signing a binding contract between you and your lawyer. You should be clear on what you will be billed for - such as phone calls, emails, letters and other communications. You should ask all questions before you sign the agreement.

You should be sure that you will be receiving monthly statements showing you (the client) how your retainer funds are being used. The billing statement should be clear and easy to understand and show what work was performed and by whom. If you have any questions about your billing statement, you should always contact the attorney immediately, as sometimes mistakes are made.

If you are going through a divorce or family law matter, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation.