There is an interesting phenomenon taking place with the adult use of social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook. These sites are not just for teens or college students anymore. In the last two years, more and more men and women over the age of 35 have joined Facebook and MySpace and similar social networking sites making it easy to find old friends, schoolmates and even...a former crush or past love.
"According to the Pew Internet & American Life Project's daily tracking survey of 2,251 adults, more than one-third (35 percent) of U.S. adult Internet users currently have a profile on a social networking site." Some law firms are saying that 1 in 5 divorces are referencing Facebook in their pleadings. It is becoming more and more common to see these social-networking sites playing a role in extra-marital relationships.
The following interview is from an article dated February, 18, 2009 from CNN.com:
"Many people try to reunite online because it's so easy", says Nancy Kalish, a professor of psychology at Cal State Sacramento and author of the book "Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romance."
Kalish says most people go looking for lost loves, initially, out of curiosity. First loves in particular are most often sought out online, she says, and they pose the most danger to real-world relationships for two reasons: biological and emotional.
Her advice to the social networking crowd is simple: "It's not enough to have a good marriage. My rule is, if you are married or in a serious relationship, you are not available. Don't contact your lost love. Understand that these are old feelings and that who your lost love was years ago is not who they are today."
"Some spouses agree... In the Pew survey, of the adults who had removed their profile from a social networking site, 3 percent said they did it because their spouse or partner wanted it removed."
Of course, social networking sites are not "final bullet" in the demise of a relationships or marriage . These sites are merely the tools making it easier to reconnect with those from your past with whom you once had feelings. Unfortunately, things can spiral out-of-hand if you feel that you are currently in a relationship lacks what this new promise a "found, lost love" has to offer. In this circumstance, casually flirting online and secret emails can easily re-ignite those feelings you once had. All too often these activities lead to phone calls, casual meetings and possibly an extra-marital relationship.
Odds are that trying to rekindle online with a former love will only cause problems in a current marriage or relationship by emotionally distancing yourself from your partner. Unless you are seriously looking to end your existing relationship it is your best bet to completely resist the temptation to seek out an old flame.
If you have been considering divorce, we can help guide you through the difficult financial and emotional aspects of the process. To talk to us about your case, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation. Call for your consultation today.
Sources: http://www.cnn.com/LIVING/ and http://www.examiner.com/x-3357-Indianapolis-Marriage-and-Sex-Examiner~y2009m2d26-Can-Facebook-or-MySpace-ruin-a-marriage and http://living.oneindia.in/relationship/marriage-and-beyond/2010/facebook-divorce-petitions-evidence-060110.html
