Divorce is highly emotional process, whether you are the one who wants to divorce or you are the one not wanting to divorce.
There are often a flurry of emotions associated with divorce. Sometimes you may be feeling multiple things all at one. At times, the feelings may be more intense or severe if you are the one who does not want to divorce. When one spouse tells the other unsuspecting spouse that he/she wants a divorce, the most common emotion is just plain SHOCK. Frequently, your heard divorcing friends say they never realized anything was wrong with the marriage.
After shock, comes DISBELIEF. There is a feeling of betrayal: how could someone close to you do this to you. Then comes DENIAL or BARGAINING. How could you not have seen this coming: it can't be happening. Maybe marriage counseling will work. When it suddenly sinks in that this is imminent, then comes ANGER.
Anger is hardest to deal with because it's directed out and not looked at internally. Sadness which tends to be internal moves to Anger which is external and focused on the other spouse. Often the questions we ask ourselves is, "why did we not work on the marriage; how did it get to this point? It's his/her fault!"
Anger tends to last for awhile. Anger can turn into VINDICTIVENESS. Or a "get even" approach to divorce. This may become an ugly divorce. Or an expensive one because of the litigation involved. But when the anger starts to dim, the end of the negativity and hostility gives way for hope and finally that new beginning is in sight.
As the divorce moves through its stages to completion, each spouse will get on with their lives and move forward to a new place both emotionally and psychologically. In rare, extreme cases, spouses can walk around for years feeling these bad emotions. This happens most often where there are young children at the time of divorce, there have been extra-marital relations, and the parties have to stay in contact for a number of years following the divorce.
If you are thinking about divorce and want more information, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation. Call for your consultation today.
