Ocala Divorce Lawyer Blog

Divorce is highly emotional process, whether you are the one who wants to divorce or you are the one not wanting to divorce.

There are often a flurry of emotions associated with divorce. Sometimes you may be feeling multiple things all at one. At times, the feelings may be more intense or severe if you are the one who does not want to divorce. When one spouse tells the other unsuspecting spouse that he/she wants a divorce, the most common emotion is just plain SHOCK. Frequently, your heard divorcing friends say they never realized anything was wrong with the marriage.

After shock, comes DISBELIEF. There is a feeling of betrayal: how could someone close to you do this to you. Then comes DENIAL or BARGAINING. How could you not have seen this coming: it can't be happening. Maybe marriage counseling will work. When it suddenly sinks in that this is imminent, then comes ANGER.

Anger is hardest to deal with because it's directed out and not looked at internally. Sadness which tends to be internal moves to Anger which is external and focused on the other spouse. Often the questions we ask ourselves is, "why did we not work on the marriage; how did it get to this point? It's his/her fault!"

Anger tends to last for awhile. Anger can turn into VINDICTIVENESS. Or a "get even" approach to divorce. This may become an ugly divorce. Or an expensive one because of the litigation involved. But when the anger starts to dim, the end of the negativity and hostility gives way for hope and finally that new beginning is in sight.

As the divorce moves through its stages to completion, each spouse will get on with their lives and move forward to a new place both emotionally and psychologically. In rare, extreme cases, spouses can walk around for years feeling these bad emotions. This happens most often where there are young children at the time of divorce, there have been extra-marital relations, and the parties have to stay in contact for a number of years following the divorce.

If you are thinking about divorce and want more information, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation, all of which is credited back to your account if we accept your case.

Florida's Relocation Statute

FLORIDA'S RELOCATION STATUTE §61.13001

If you are the primary residential parent (or the parent with the majority of thel parenting time, under the newly re-written Statute) of a minor child and you wish to relocate it is extremely important that you contact an attorney and make sure that you have taken the appropriate steps to follow Florida's statute on relocation. This Statute enacted October 2006 made it much more difficult for the parent with the substantial parenting time to relocate. The Statute that governs relocation is Florida Statute 61.13001. However, if you are the non-residential parent of a child and you have just been informed that your former spouse or child's parent plans to relocate with your child, you need to contact an attorney to help you file your timely objection. Failure to timely object to relocation can have a devastating effect on your future relationship with your child.

Whether you are looking to relocate or your spouse is looking to relocate with your child(ren), you need to follow the law.

THE PROCEDURE:

1. Notice: The statute requires the custodial parent to give notice to the noncustodial parent if there is to be a change in the principal residence of the child of more than 50 miles from the child's residence at the time of the entry of the last custody or visitation order. The change of residence must be for a period of 60 days or more and does not include temporary absences for vacation, education or health-care for the child.

The notice must be in writing and served upon the other parent, be signed under oath and include a specific address and telephone number for the new residence, the date of the intended move, specific reasons for the move and, if one of the reasons is a job offer, a copy of the written job offer if it exists. The notice must also include a proposed post relocation schedule of visitation and a notice that an objection to the intent to relocate must be filed within 30 days and served on the relocating parent.

2. Objection to the Notice: The objection shall state a specific factual basis and shall include a statement of the amount of participation the objecting party currently has in the life of the child.

3. What happens if you relocate without giving the notice or if you relocate anyway after the other parent objects? You become subject to sanctions of any subsequent relocation proceeding or modification of custody proceeding. The other party may request temporary or permanent return of the child, as well as attorney's fees, costs and travel expenses.

4. What is the Proper Venue? Venue is in a county in which either parent or child reside or the county in which the original action was adjudicated.

IF YOU DO CONSIDER LITIGATION, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

Continue reading "Florida Relocation requirements: Moving away with the kids" »

CUSTODY DISPUTES: WHEN CUSTODY REALLY ISN'T CUSTODY ANYMORE!

Florida Statute § 61, which governs Family Law, underwent a major revision in October of 2008. There will no longer be a "Primary Residential Parent" and a Secondary Residential Parent." The term "Custodial Parent" is also abolished (done away with). The new designation for both the Mother and Father is "Parent." This is an attempt to equalize the importance of both parents. The old terms understated the role the Secondary Parent played in the life of their children.

The term "Visitation Plan" has also been done away with. Now, the terms "Parenting Plan" and "Time-Sharing" will be used. Again, as attorneys, we understand this change to mean that there is an attempt to encourage courts to craft parenting arrangements allowing both parents a greater role in their children's life. Across the country, states are attempting to make divorces more therapeutic and less traumatizing for the children and the parents. Florida is one of the few states that have enacted the statute abolishing the customary terms "custody" and "visitation." The results of this change remain to be seen.

It is hoped that the statutory changes will cause battling parents in family law cases to reduce their fighting and attempt to cooperate more with each other for the benefit of the children. Time will tell the effects of no longer having "custody" when talking about the children. At the very least, this change will result in a transitional stage to cause individuals to start thinking about their children in a less proprietary fashion.

A potentially more important change is the requirement that judges, attorneys, and parties draft more detailed and robust parenting plans. Parenting plans have become far more detailed involving all issues of the children in their daily lives, in communication between the parents and the children, and other activities concerning the children. Previously, when the Marital Settlement Agreement and/or Final Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage have been vague in details in terms of children's issues, friction and court litigation were likely to continue at the same rate or at an even greater rate. Consequently, the immediate impact of this statute may be to lessen the amount of micromanaging litigation that goes on while the parties attempt to hammer out the finer details of issues concerning their children and their interactions with children, which were not adequately addressed in the original court proceedings.

Florida has taken a proactive role in moving away from traditional models and moved into a realm where both parents are on equal footing. Immediately, and ultimately, these changes should work for the benefit of Florida's children and their parents.

Here is a provision from the new Parenting Plan and Time-Sharing Law that shows the spirit of this revision:

Continue reading "Florida Custody and Visitation laws" »

There has been much litigation in Florida about whether retiring is a material and significant change in circumstances to warrant a downward modification of permanent alimony. There is binding case law from the Florida Supreme Court that says that a payor spouse can retire, and can modify permanent alimony, as long as it does not put the recipient spouse in the peril of poverty. The Florida Supreme Court in Pimm v. Pimm, 601 So.2d 534,1992 held that husband's retirement was change of circumstance that could be considered together with other relevant factors and applicable law upon petition to modify. However, the Court in Pimm also held that a trial court should consider that even at age of sixty-five or later, a payor spouse should not be permitted to unilaterally choose voluntary retirement if this choice places the receiving spouse in peril of poverty. Thus, the court should consider the needs of the receiving spouse and the impact a termination or reduction of alimony would have on him or her.

What does this mean? Sometimes it means that retiring is delayed because of an Alimony obligation. Should people have to work past the age of retirement because of an obligation to pay another person support? Is this fair? Should someone have to continue to work well into his/her 70s or 80s? Shouldn't a person be allowed to retire? On the other hand, should someone be allowed to retire in order to escape the necessity of paying alimony?

As recently as this past month, courts around the county are grappling with this issue as people are living longer lives - often into their 80s. Below is a link to a good article from Boston that deals with what our Florida Supreme Court dealt with in Pimm: http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/11/10/divorce_may_mean_retiring_is_delayed/

If you are involved in a Family Law or Divorce case and want more information, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation, all of which is credited back to your account if we accept your case.

One of the most frequent questions I get from prospective clients is, "do I really need an Attorney to handle my divorce?" My answer to that question is always the same, "whether you hire me or another lawyer, if you have children, or property or have been married more than 3 years, then you definitely need an attorney." I'm always wary about sounding like I sound like I am trying to convince someone to hire me, but that is really not the issue. The issue is that a Divorce is regular litigation in Circuit Court and whatever you and your soon-to-be former spouse agree to, you are bound by in the form of a contract. Most people know that it's very difficult, if not impossible, to get of a signed contract. A divorce agreement is really no different. In Family Court, we have our own set of rules, our own division in Circuit Court and our own set of Judges.

So it brings me back the question, "do I need an Attorney to handle my divorce?" Absolutely. Marriage is a powerful legal institution giving spouses rights and privileges like no other. And, as a powerful legal institution, marriage is not easily dissolved. Divorce must be handled carefully in order to ensure that the parties involved actually get what they think they are getting: a fair and permanent solution.
Unfortunately, that $199 do-it-yourself divorce may cause bigger problems that it solves. Simple errors during a do-it-yourself divorce can cause serious and lasting problems. These are just some of the problems I have seen:
• Placing a check mark in the wrong box on one of the forms
• Failing to file something in a timely manner or to make an objection in a timely manner
• Failing to file a required document or a complete Parenting Plan
• Neglecting to address issues that may concern the court
Even something as small as using a poorly chosen word regarding the marital home or the parenting plan can end up causing damage that is difficult to repair.

Continue reading "Do-It-Youself Divorce - a very dangerous proposition" »

I often hear people tell me, we lived together for 10 years before we got married, although we've only been married for 5 years. They go on to tell me that they've bought property, made financial commitments together, and lived together as if they were married. This question is usually tied together with a follow-up question about whether this spouse would be entitled to receive some type of alimony. When the relationship ends, that spouse is coming to lawyer to find out what their rights are.

Unfortunately, I am the one that has to pass along the bad news. In the State of Florida, unlike California and some other states, there is no palimony law. Palimony is a form of alimony awarded to one member of a non-marital couple who have separated. A palimony claim is a claim for alimony like support that arises out a relationship in which two parties have been living together or co-habitating without being married.

That means that the client has spent usually anywhere from 7 to 20 of the best years of his/her life with another person, with no legal recourse after the relationship ends. "But we lived together as Husband and Wife", the spouse says. "Everyone we knew and all of our friends thought we were married, " the spouse adds. The problem is in Florida that living together gives them no legal status, no matter the length of time. There is just no Palimony in Florida.

Then I get questions about "Common Law Marriages." In approximately 14 states and the District of Columbia, Common Law Marriage is a possibility and is as good as a marriage license. If you live in one of the states listed below and you "hold yourself out to be married" (by telling the community you are married, calling each other husband and wife, using the same last name, filing joint income tax returns, etc.), you can have a common law marriage. Common law marriage makes you a legally married couple in every way, even though you never obtained a marriage license. If you choose to end your relationship, you must get a divorce, even though you never had a wedding. Legally, common law married couples must follow all the same rules as "regular" married couples. These are the following States that allow for Common Law Marriage: Alabama, Colorado, Georgia (if created before 1/1/97), Idaho (if created before 1/1/96), Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only), Ohio (if created before 10/10/91) Oklahoma (possibly only if created before 11/1/98), Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05), Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, Washington, D.C.

Continue reading "Living Together vs. Being Married: Does it make a difference?" »

Anyone that has filed for divorce knows that before you can go to trial the court will send the parties to Mediation. Why mediation you ask when, "we can't agree on anything." That seems like a pretty reasonable question. My assurance is always, if the case settles at mediation, it's more cost effective for you and your spouse. It is certainly less expensive to spend 4 hours at mediation than to spend 4 hours at trial. At mediation you have control over your case but at trial the Judge has complete control over your case. You may or may not like what the Judge decides. Why give the Judge that much control?

Here are the questions I hear most frequently:

What is mediation?

Mediation is a method of dispute resolution that is an alternative to having a courtroom trial. It is the process involves the parties meeting with a trained, certified mediation who attempts to help them reach an agreement. The mediator tries to help them reach their own agreement, but does not force either party to agree. In mediation, both parties should make a good faith attempt to agree on issues of the marriage, including a parenting plan, time-sharing plan and property division, for example. Neither party should feel that the "agreement" was forced upon him or her. People who reach an agreement together are more likely to follow what they've agree to. If it is not possible to reach an agreement, another form of resolution, such as trial, is used.

Continue reading "Mediation: So the Court is ordering you to mediate your divorce" »

I found this to be a very interesting article from Newsweek. I have seen the changes in the court's rulings giving Dad's more and more parenting time, up to joint custody (equal time-sharing) arrangements. It's become more and more the norm rather than the exception. I think it's incredibly beneficial to have both parents actively involved in the child's life. The only real way to keep both parents involved is to give both parents plenty of parenting-time. If you have the time, it's a very good read.

By Susanna Schrobsdorff | Newsweek Web Exclusive

Most parents will never forget the details of the day their children were born. For those who divorce, there's another day--equally vivid, totally different--that etches into memory: when they have to tell their children their mother and father are splitting up. What I remember is pacing through our apartment the night before, watching my girls sleep. The older one was 8 and still slept as she had when she was a newborn, arms thrown high above her head. The little one, just 4, was curled at the top of her bed, leaving two thirds of it empty.

Their dad and I had read the divorce books and rehearsed our speech about how none of this was their fault, that we loved them. All of this was true, but it seemed insufficient. He and I made a big calendar, as advised, with mom days in red and dad days in purple. In the half-light of that sad morning, I opened the calendar and realized that this crazy quilt would be a map for our lives from now on.

In the morning, we sat the girls on the sofa and told them. They cried, and were confused, but they didn't ask the big questions we thought they would. They wanted to know where they'd live, and whether they would still have the same last name. When we showed them the calendar, our older girl turned it a few pages ahead to her birthday month, which we hadn't colored in yet. She panicked. "But Mom, is my birthday red or purple?" Her dad and I looked at each other and said, "Both. We'll both be there." She would not rest until we filled the day in with red and purple. And with that, our new family life was born.

Continue reading "Not Your Dad's Divorce: Men Changing the Rules of Time-Sharing" »

After publicly apologizing for his "transgressions," the golfing great reportedly offered to give his wife, Elin Nordegren, $5 million to keep her from from leaving and taking their children with her.

With new reports emerging almost hourly with sordid details of new women, Mrs. Woods was also revising a prenuptial agreement that would give her an additional $55 million just to stay with him two more years as reported by various news agencies.

"If Nordegren can hack being Mrs.Tiger Woods for at least seven years, she gets $80 million, a lawyer familiar with the couple's negotiations" told Daily Beast reporter Gerald Posner.

Prenuptial agreements often remove the litigation involving alimony and spousal support. Having a pre-nup is invaluable when there are assets belonging to each spouse that neither wants divided and distributed in the event of a divorce. Prenuptial agreements, also known as antenuptial agreements, may be a useful way to establish the rights and liabilities upon the termination of a marriage by death or dissolution.

There are circumstances in which prenuptial agreements are most vital, for instance, when the rights of children from a prior marriage are at issue or when there is a large disparity in the financial resources of parties. However, approaching the other person to discuss a Prenuptial agreement is also problematic. It says to the other person, "I don't trust you in case we get divorced." But having a Prenuptial agreement can be considered just a "good insurance" if the marriage does not work out the way the parties believed it would.

If you are thinking about divorce and want more information, please visit our website or call the office to schedule your initial consultation. We employ a client based approach, which means that we are selective in the cases we take so that we can be available to our clients. We spend time with you to thoroughly understand the facts of your case, so that we can provide you with a comprehensive and realistic legal evaluation. Our process begins with a half-hour low-cost consultation, all of which is credited back to your account if we accept your case.